Picture taken 11.2.09 when I was the guest speaker at a banquet for the 42 families who have adopted this year in our region.  Still, in Kentucky, there are more than 6,900 children in need of a forever home.  The reason for Adoption Awareness Month is to draw attention to the need for adoptive families in hopes that the number of waiting children will one day be zero.

At the banquet, each adopted child was given a rose. 

Here’s Liam making sure Nadia gets one!

Adoption is the heartbeat of our family.  So, in light of National Adoption Awareness Month, and because so many of you have asked about our adoption process, I thought I’d take some time to share.  That way if you, or someone you know, is interested in adoption, you/they can obtain some initial understanding here.

Adoption is the most incredible and amazing experience.  Liam and Nadia have changed our lives and have filled us with so much joy.  I highly recommend adoption to grow your family.  With that said, everything I’m about to say next, is based on our experience.  And anyone who has adopted can tell you that every experience is different.  There’s no way for me to write your adoption story.  All I can do is share ours and hope that it’s merely the introduction to your own.

We went through Mary Kendall Adoption Program (affiliated with The Kentucky United Methodist Homes for Children & Youth) in Bowling Green, Kentucky for our home study, but we chose Heart to Heart Adoptions in Sandy, Utah for our placement.

We selected H2H because a dear friend of mine had adopted through the same agency and had a fantastic and very quick experience. Plus, after some research, we found the laws in Utah to be excellent, especially when it comes to the adoptive family.  In a nutshell, the birth mother can sign over her rights when the baby is 24 hours old, and when she has signed, that decision is irrevocable.  There’s no “changing her mind 20 days later” like in most states, including Kentucky.  We’ve been told the birth mothers are counseled extensively regarding this, so she is well aware of the “finality” of her signature. 

Here’s the contact info for both agencies, should you want to talk with them in greater detail:
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Mary Kendall Adoption Program
Bowling Green, KY
http://www.kyumh.com/MaryKendallAdoption/index.htm
270.846.3101

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Heart to Heart Adoptions, Inc.
Sandy, Utah (just outside Salt Lake City)
http://hearttoheartadoptions.net/
1.866.712.3678 (1.866.71.ADOPT)

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As for our experience, I couldn’t have been more pleased.  We chose an agency where the birth mother picks the adoptive family for her baby, so we were chosen by both birth mothers. As for the “openness” of the adoption after placement… that’s a decision you and the birth mother will make.  We basically said we were open to whatever the birth mother wanted.  Both of our adoptions are considered semi-open.  With one, we periodically send pictures via the agency.  (We send to the agency, the agency then mails to the birth mother.  We don’t have direct contact.)  With the other, we send pictures and letters directly to her.  We also speak with her on the phone occasionally. 

Both situations have worked out beautifully for us.  Incredible, really.  One birth mother has actually sent gifts in the mail to both kids.  Plus, we have pictures of both birth mothers and one birth father.  This will be such a priceless possession for our children one day… tangible evidence of their birth parents when the questions come.  We will certainly be able to let both of our children know how much they are loved.  Twice loved.  Loved enough to be given up… and loved enough to be taken in.  Their birth mothers are heroes in our eyes. 

As far as where to start with the adoption process… the first thing you need to do is decide where you want to adopt from… the United States or internationally.  The process is different, so it’s important to make that decision first.  I really wanted to experience the newborn stage as a parent which is the main reason why we chose domestic adoption.  You typically won’t be able to bring an infant home from another country.

Once that decision has been made,  you’ll need to complete a home study… which essentially is a lot of paperwork that seems more overwhelming than it really is.  This is done by a certified social worker.  Christine Arterburn at Mary Kendall handled both of ours.  Once you have a completed home study, agencies will more freely give you info on available situations.  You cannot adopt without a completed home study.

If you go to Heart to Heart’s website, everything you’ll need to know is there, including phone numbers, addresses, etc.  Plus, all the info regarding the agency and adoptions thru them is also listed. Also, the agency places “available situations” on the site.  It’s important to note that the majority of babies the agency deals with NEVER appear on the website.  The ones that you’ll see listed are the situations in which the birth mother wasn’t able to select a family already on the Heart to Heart waiting list… which is rare.  (Neither of our children appeared on the website.) 

The username and password are both “adopt”.  Please note, though, you can’t be considered for any of the situations unless you have a completed home study and application.  I wanted to give you the opportunity to view this part of the website, though, because if you are feeling led to adopt, seeing the waiting babies is a great motivator to get moving.  And when I say “waiting babies”, I mean babies who are still in the womb.  Heart to Heart deals with pregnant women, so you are matched with the birth mother before birth, that way you are able to be their for the birth and bring the baby home from the hospital.  I could go on for days and days about how wonderful both of our experiences were regarding this, even though our experience with Liam and our experience with Nadia were completely different.

Now, I should warn you, adoption is very expensive.  I wish this were not the case, but sadly, it is.  I’ve seen many, many families do fundraisers in order to help with the cost, and I think this is a wonderful way for friends/family/etc. to take part, especially if you’re not led to adopt yourself.  As far as explaining the cost of adoption, it would simply be impossible to do.  Every situation is different, and there are many factors that make each situation different.  In the state of Utah, for example, because of the number of African-American babies in need of homes, the state gives the agency grants to help place these babies.  Therefore, the agency is able to pay more of the birth mothers expenses.  That helps explain the reduced fees for AA situations.  (I actually called and asked the question myself.) 

Another reason the cost can vary will depend on if the birth mother chooses to deliver in her home state.  The majority of girls who place with Heart to Heart aren’t from Utah.  The agency flies them there so they can deliver in Utah, that way Utah laws apply to the child.  Liam’s birth mother is from New Mexico.  Nadia’s is from New Orleans.  However, both delivered in Utah.  

On the website, you can also click on Placements Made… and you’ll see all the adoptions that have happened over the past year or so.  They update it fairly regularly, and as you’ll see, Heart to Heart places a lot of babies.  According to Heart to Heart’s website, they are always in need of families open to AA (African-American) situations.  Many of these situations come up quickly.  And there is no application fee with Heart to Heart, so you don’t lose anything by simply applying.

Depending on how selective you are, will depend on the speed of your adoption.  If you are open to different races, your wait will not be long.  Cheyenne and I were open to any child God created, so both of our placements happened practically overnight.  (Liam is 1/2 Hispanic, 1/2 Puerto Rican… Nadia is 1/2 Caucasian 1/2 Nicaraguan… and we adore them just the way they are.) 

The way I see it, God created each of us, and we are all beautiful in His eyes.  Any child, regardless of the color of their skin or the country they were born in, deserves a forever family.

I know this is a lot of information to take in, but quite frankly, it’s just the tip of the iceberg!  Have fun in your quest!  Adoption is an adventure, but the treasure you will receive makes the roller coaster of emotions worth it.

October 31st was busy this year.  Dark and early that morning, we got up for the 10k.  That afternoon we headed up the hill to a Neighborhood Picnic.  It was nice in itself to have a neighborhood gathering, but it was made even nicer when everyone went home with pansies and tulip bulbs to plant. 

Our next stop was Cook Farms in Franklin where we enjoyed the evening with friends.  As usual, I attempted to get pictures of Liam and Nadia together, but our ladybug kept flying off…

And our cowboy refused to give up a smile. Cowboys are just too tough to smile, I suppose.

Of course, the very first time he wore his costume, he just couldn’t contain himself.  Is it wrong for me to admit that sometimes he still sleeps with that gun, he loves it so much?  So politically incorrect, I know.  But he’s a boy for crying out loud.  I don’t want to stifle his manliness.

The boy was grinning from ear to ear all night wearing that costume, but as soon as I’d say, “Smile for the camera!”, he’d do this.  If only he could learn picture taking etiquette from the pistol packin’ mermaid… 

After some fun on the ranch, we saddled up our cowboy and ladybug, and took flight for Trunk or Treat in downtown Franklin.  It was our first time, but the Cook sea creatures had taken the dive before…

(Fisherman JD, Mermaid Eliza, Octopus Macy Belle, Shark Carrie)

Liam ended up stealing Joel David’s fishing pole, so he was a fishing cowboy…

In line for candy…

We spotted my cousin Tami at one of the Trunks… and the cowboy and ladybug got to see their cousins, too.

We had lots of fun… and we’re still enjoying all that candy!

10.31.09  (Halloween Morning) Oh my goodness.  Look at those girls.  It makes me quiver thinking about how fast they’ve grown.  My baby nieces aren’t babies anymore, and it startles me every time I see them.  Aren’t they beautiful?  And that’s their “7:30 in the morning” look.  Oh, and the gray-headed old man in the back?  That’s my brother.  He’s only got me beat by *ahem*… 10 years.

He’s also got me beat in stamina and will-power.  The brother can run.  He’s all I wear short running shorts serious about running.  HE RUNS MARATHONS.  Did I tell you I ran a marathon with him?  Seriously, did you have to go back and read that last sentence again?  Was it really that unbelievable? 

Okay, I can see why you’re so surprised.  That was 40 pounds ago… and the truth of the matter is… my old fart brother was running laps around his baby sister, eatin’ hot dogs provided by the lunatic who thought they’d be a great source of energy for the runners at mile 22.  I know you can’t envision it, so let me help.  You know the water stations that are set up throughout races?  You run, snatch a water, and keep going, drinking the H2O in one swift move.  It was the same concept, only this was a HOT DOG STAND… AT MILE 22!!!  Who does that?!  I wanted to barf at the thought of snatching a hot dog “to go.”  But not Daren.  No sir.  The weirdo even took the time to squeeze mustard all over the nastiness (yes, the hot dog stand even offered condiments), catch back up to me, and proceed to chow down, all while continuing at a slow steady jog.  He LITERALLY ran a circle around me with a smirk that said, “Wanna bite?”  I was all, “Why don’t you use that extra energy of yours to give me a piggyback ride, buddy?”  But hear me out…

I FINISHED THE FREAKIN’ MARATHON! 

God, that still feels so good to say, even though the present Darla laughs at the idea.

Here’s what it looks like to cross the finish line at 26.2 miles…

The “you give me hope” was something my mom stuck on the picture when she gave it to me.  She was cool like that.

So enough daydreaming about the past.

Let’s talk about this year’s 10K Classic.  No, don’t go giving a standing ovation just yet.  I ran walked the 5K.

Here’s how it all went down:  Daren called me like 2 days before this year’s race.  (I had already talked myself out of doing it at this point.)  He said all 3 of his girls were in the race, but since they all run at different paces, he wanted to pair each of them with someone.  He asked if I’d be that someone for Veronica.  Mind you, I’d do anything for my nieces, including this.  So, “Hooray.”  Let me dust off my running shoes.  Bother.

It rained… a lot… the night before, and part of me was wishing it would just come a monsoon so I could bail out and put the blame on Mother Nature.  But wouldn’t you know, I woke up and the weather just had to be decent.

I think the clock said something like 6am, God forbid.  So I put my contacts in put on my glasses, put my uncombed hair in a ponytail, and willingly did not brush my teeth.

We had a blast and Veronica was the perfect running partner… up until the end, when the little goober decided to “finish strong” and leave me in her dust.  I couldn’t believe it!!!  After all I’d done for her.  That booger.  But old fart didn’t let me down.  He backtracked for me and we crossed the finish line together.  (I should really give him more credit.  He’s only like the best brother in the universe.) 

Sorry.  I didn’t care to notice our time.  I was too busy snapping this pix with my cell phone when we crossed the finish line.

And here’s my “partner”… if you can still call her that after she left me high and dry on the home stretch.

And here’s Livie with her partner, Bethann…

And, for the record, at the end of the race, I had only one thing on my mind… “Why in the world did I not brush my teeth??!!!”  Gross.

October 2009 – When you’re a stay-at-home mom, you can just up and decide to go to Gulf Shores.  And so we did.  (Can you tell I’m loving my new job?  I’m not trying to rub it in.  Really, I’m not.  I just can’t contain myself.)

The pictures above are priceless because this trip just so happened to be Nadia’s first time to the beach.  So we captured on film her first walk across the bridge, the first time her feet touched the sand, and the first time she felt the ocean water on her toes.  She loved, loved, loved it!  And loved it some more.

In fact, Nadia felt so at home at the beach, she decided to go topless.  I told her it was inappropriate, but, kids, they just don’t listen.

Nadia also showed no modesty while doing her best Coppertone baby impression…

And then there was Liam.  This was Liam’s second beach vacation.  The old pro.  He taught Nadia all about picking up seashells and building sand castles.  Only he didn’t build any sand castles.  He doesn’t sit still that long.

It’s a bird…

It’s a plane…

It’s…

Liam’s kite!

I always thought flying a kite was nearly impossible, but Liam was all “whatever mom.  flying a kite is easy.”

Don’t believe me?  See for yourself.

When we weren’t flying kites at the beach, we were in the lazy river… being lazy.

Liam had fun showing off his jumping skills, but doesn’t like to go under water.  Notice Nadia in the background falling off the boogie board and going under, but she’s not fazed.  That girl’s a fish.

Nadia wasn’t about to be outdone.  She was all “Watch me jump.”

And, no joke, every time we came back inside, this is the look we got from Nadia…

Let’s take a closer look…

Grumpy girl wants to be back at the beach. 

I know, she’s beautiful, even when she’s sour… but I like it better when she smiles… like this.

Go ahead.  Tell me that’s not the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen.  I dare you.

I wanted to be cool like every other family in the world, and take advantage of the beach scene photo-op.  So I tortured my kids by dressing them up in clothes that weren’t supposed to get wet, and took them near the water.

That was Mistake #1.

Mistake #2 was that I didn’t take into account that my camera lens would fog over due to the change in temperature… so this precious photo turned out like this…

The one on the left is the original, but I could see there was a gem in there, so I worked on it.  The one on the right is the best I could do to enhance it with my limited skills.  The quality is still “blah”, but isn’t… she… fabulous?!

Back to my mistakes, though. 

Mistake #3.  I didn’t bring anything to bribe the kids with while taking their picture.  No cotton candy, No m&m’s, No big giant lollipop.  What kind of a photographer am I?  Kids don’t work for free, ya’ know.

So here are the ONLY two shots I could get with Liam and Nadia sitting side by side.  I should be proud, considering.

Don’t worry.  I didn’t just torture the kids.  We rewarded them with their first ever game of miniature golf.  Liam was actually pretty good, no big surprise there.  Nadia lost interest quickly.

We ate at Lambert’s Cafe, a tradition.  I didn’t get any pictures of the “Throwed Rolls”, but here’s some excitement from outside the restaurant.

Cloudy day.  Nice view…

But the view doesn’t get any better than this…

10.4.09  My mother-in-law is always looking for a reason to cook, and I’m always looking for a reason to eat, so after Jordan and Tucker were baptized, we loaded up and drove down the road to the park in Russellville.  We ate another delicious meal, thanks to Julia, and watched the kids burn some energy!

10.4.09  I’m so proud of my niece and nephew (Jordan + Tucker) who recently made the decision to get baptized.  Their family attends a small church in Russellville, and I love that the church still does baptisms the old-fashioned way — in muddy rivers!  And quite fitting, “Muddy River” is the actual name of the river behind their church.

It was pretty cold outside on this particular October afternoon, but Jordan and Tucker braved the frigid water… and became buried in Christ… and risen in Christ! 

They couldn’t have picked a more perfect spot for this moment.  It brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful.  Plus, there were other several family members and friends who came out to witness the occasion.

Congratulations, Jordan and Tucker!

People say time heals, but I disagree.  Time takes the edge off the pain, but don’t be fooled, the pain is still there.  Mom, I think about you everyday.  And, oh, how I miss you.  You told me not to grieve for you, but I’m afraid that’s one promise I haven’t been able to keep.

From the comment box:

Shaleen,
I love you and miss you. You were an inspiration to us all. I miss your messages in my inbox, watching you worship so freely at church, and running into you at yard-sales! Your daughter, son-in-law, and beautiful grandchildren add joy to my life and we are blessed by their friendship. If there is one person in the world sitting in the comforting arms of Jesus today, I know it is you.
See you in a few years for an eternal reunion,
Crista

10.3.09  My brother’s got jokes.  He and his 3 girls were kind enough to babysit while Cheyenne and I went to a wedding.  Liam and Nadia were both asleep when we went to Daren’s house that night to pick them up, so we didn’t get our big surprise until the next morning.  I laid Nadia down to change her diaper, and this is what I saw.

9.30.09  Friends don’t let friends miss out on the “Cidar Slider!”  Liam wanted his friend Maeve to experience the fun.  And since Maeve and Brynn’s mommy is a stay-at-home mom too, a playdate was easily arranged!  So off we went, back to Jackson’s Orchard, but this time with the amigas!

Here’s Kim and Maeve doing the “slide by side” with Liam…

And me and Nadia getting our own taste of the action…

Plus, we got to say hello to Apples and Peaches.

And later, you guessed it, we ate hot dogs, apple pies and apple slushes!  Happy Fall!

*The only bummer of the day was that my camera died before I got any pictures of baby Brynn.  I aim to please, though, so here’s a recent pix from her blog.

9.29.09  For several years now, I have enjoyed hosting the Insight Channel 5 Adopt-a-thon.  I’ve been fortunate to work with the same crew each year which has made the job easy and fun.  Here we are before the show (Scooter Davis and Myla Thomas from The Beaver, Tony Rose from Sam 100.7, and Lorri Hare from the Bowling Green/Warren County Humane Society).

During the live 3 hour Adopt-a-thon, we showcase the animals at the Humane Society in hopes of finding each a home, raising money and awareness for the shelter, and encouraging spay and neuter.  It’s a wonderful cause to be a part of.

People from the community come on the broadcast to help us show off the animals.  Here’s Big Red trying to help but couldn’t resist eating one of the cats.  (That cat LOVED being in Big Red’s mouth.  No joke.)

Here’s Carl and Debra from Chaney’s Dairy Barn:

This year was also fun because we had a new venue.  We were at the Hot Rods stadium with the field as our backdrop.

For more information about the BG/WC Humane Society, call 270.783.9404 or log on to http://www.petfinder.com